


With a heavy heart

by Thegraybluekitten



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Affectionate Levi, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, I Don't Even Know, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-25
Updated: 2015-04-25
Packaged: 2018-03-25 17:01:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3818080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thegraybluekitten/pseuds/Thegraybluekitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"He misses Eren’s carefree laughs, those random warm hugs and his constant bubble of energy and he’s been deprived of it for too long, longer than he really cares for. Is it so bad to want to relish in those happy moments for just a little bit longer?"</p><p>"Were running out of time"</p>
            </blockquote>





	With a heavy heart

**Author's Note:**

> This is a birthday gift to a tumblr friend of mine and the first time I actually write something fandom related. Hope you all enjoy.

Levi Ackerman is what you would call a socially awkward person and a born loner.

He's not a fan of dirt or crowded places, has a foul mouth (and even a fouler attitude) and on top of it all, he's not known for knowing the virtue of patience.

So what he's doing right at that moment could be called "very out of character" and some might even consider him "out of his mind". 

Because there, in the middle of a crowded street, in an early summer heatwave stands Levi freaking Ackerman wearing a pretty tight and uncomfortable suit, paired with a long sleeved shirt and a tie, accompanied with a large black suitcase at his side. He looks pretty uncomfortable standing there all alone, sweating like a pig and constantly tugging on his tie, but he still doesn't seem to be planning to move anytime soon. 

People give him and his suit case blocking their way curious looks but one quick peak at Levi's annoyed face usually sends them running away, and that fast. He regularly checks the passing time on his watch while running his fingers through his now sweaty hair, making a heavily annoyed face while at it. 

 

_Disgusting! The exact reason I'd like to move north over the summer time. And people go out in this heat willingly. Who would even do such a thing? Ugh!_

 

He then nervously digs his hand down in one of his pockets and feels the little box that's been weighting down on his mind the last few days and moves his finger over the velvet covered surface once again, definitely not the first time that day. This simple action seems to calm him down a bit in his inner struggle of this very annoying situation.

 

"Levi? Is that you?"

 

Levi quickly draws his hand out of his pocket, like it was on fire, and turns around to the source of the beautiful singsong voice. Standing behind him only few steps away is a pretty young man, more tanned than should be legal and with eyes bright as the sun and a beautiful combination of blue and green. The eyes are nothing thought compared to the even brighter smile adoring his lips as he lays eyes upon the man in front of him. He's wearing illegally short pants and a tight black tank top, to make his job out in the heat easier must be, and if Levi hadn't been so dehydrated he would have been drooling. On the inside, Levi is stunned over the beautiful view in front of him and tries to remind himself that yes, jumping the boy right there in the middle of the street would definitely been frowned upon. His feelings scream happiness, longing and relief of finally seeing the young man again, but his face shows nothing of that sort. The slight difference is seen in his posture and in the way the corners of his moth move a bit upwards just as he opens up his arms.

 

"Happy to see me Eren?"

 

He doesn't get any spoken answer and barely has time to prepare himself for the large impact from his lover's weight on his smaller body. His senses fill with only Eren and he can feel his chest filling up with warmth and comfort, the feeling of being completed again. He buries his nose into Eren's chest and inhales his unique sent (being the smaller one has its positive traits). He can feel Eren's ody shaking against his own and his instinct tell him to tighten his arms around the boy, which he automatically does. 

"You have no idea of ho h-happy I am to see you again, I m-missed you so much Levi" Eren tries to say through his heavy sobs, his fingers grabbing Levi's suit even harder. Levi moves his fingers in slow circles on Eren's back in attempt to calm Eren down while trying to keep his own emotion in check at the same time.

"I missed you to bright eyes, I surely did".

 

**

 

After hugging and comforting each other for a while and earning quite a few glances from people passing by, Levi finally decided to take the jacket off and to loosen up a bit of his attire, not missing the look Eren gives him as he rolls up the sleeves on his shirt to show of his well-formed arms. A small smug smile appears on his face as he stretches his arms above his head, being sure to flex all the right muscles while at it. 

"Take a picture, it will last longer" he teases Eren, making him turn completely red in the process.

"Not my fault you dressed like this, you know suits are my week spot. Why in the wold did you appear in a suit out here anyway? Couldn't you have waited for me at home or something? Eren asks casually while trying to shake off the embarrassment from earlier. Levi's body tenses up but not enough for Eren to notice and he quickly tries to come up with an excuse that could make sense for their situation.

"The flight was later than I expected and I just... felt like I couldn't wait any longer to see you, that's all" he quickly exclaims, a little bit embarrassed by his sudden love confession.

 

_See? Not a complete lie..._

 

At least Eren believes the excuse and a happy smile appears on his face just as he grabs Levi's waist. "You can be such a sappy romantic sometimes Levi. That's why I love you so much" he exclaims just as he leaves a tiny kiss on Levi's nose before dashing quickly away from him, laughing happily. Levi stands completely still, more in love than he had ever been before, and can feel the weight of the box in his pocket growing heavier with every step forward.

 

_Well fuck it all!_

 

**

 

The heat has already gone down a few notches and the sun gone behind awful grey clouds when they finally enter the local park at the center, their favourite shared place in the whole city. The park which is usually packed on warm days like this, is already close to being empty so they have no trouble moving around and showing off their affection. Eren has planted himself tight up against Levi's side while wearing a smile that's bright enough to replace the already gone sun. He also seems to be close to exploding from happiness and joy of being untied with his Levi again while Levi... well he's happy in his own quiet way. he can feel how his body automatically relaxes in the other's presence, ow it feels like nothing can replace this beautiful feeling of being around his precious person. He tightens his hold on the other's waist as he tries to decide what to do with all of those feelings and all those worries he has not yet had time to voice out loud.

 

_What should I do?_

 

At last they find their favourite spot in the whole park under an old oak tree and Eren hurries to find a good spot to sit on beside the trunk. Levi intends to follow Eren straight away but he's suddenly reminded again of the reason he came back earlier, of all the trouble he had to go though to get to this point, and so he comes to a sudden halt while trying to find a way to break the news to Eren.

 

_Better sooner than later I think._

 

Eren himself, mistakes his hesitation for something else together and a large teasing grin appears on his face just as he pats the ground by his side. "Come on Levi, don't you want to join me? I saved you a perfect spot right here" he teases lightly, his eyes shining with excitement and longing. "Please come over, I've missed you". Levi gulps loudly but doesn't move. Eren senses that something is not right and his teasing look is replaced by a worried one. "Levi? Is something wrong?"

Levi stays silent for a moment, trying to find out what to say. He quickly spares a glance at the clock, shrugging when noticing how much time he has spent already.

 

_We're running out of time._

 

Suddenly, when he's just about to say something, the skies open like on order and Levi is soaked through in only few seconds. He dashes forward under the large branches and curses under his breath while trying to protect his already wet shirt from more damage. Eren starts giggling over Levi's bad fortune in the background and Levi realizes that he can't do this just yet. He misses Eren's carefree laughs, those random warm hugs and his constant bubble of energy and he's been deprived of it for too long,longer than really cares for. Is it so bad to want to relish in those happy moments for just a little bit longer?

 

_Please, just few minutes is all I ask._

 

He sights in defeat as he approaches the tree trunk and slides down by Eren's side. "Weren't you offering me a spot earlier Yeager? now move your big butt and give me some space". Eren ignores his rude pleas and hurries to curl up against his side to seek out Levi's body heat. The rain doesn't seem to be fading anytime soon and there's already fog appearing all around them. Levi silently passes over his suit jacket and Eren accepts it right away, the air getting chillier by the minute and his attire not providing any warmth at all. When they both have fond a position to their liking they sink into a comfortable silence, Eren laying his head on Levi's shoulder while Levi brushes his fingers through his brown locks. They sit there for a while, enjoying each other presence and Levi is again reminder of what he has left to do. But for now he relishes in focusing in the breathing against his neck and the relaxing sounds of raindrops hitting the ground all around them. 

"When can you finally like... stay home for once for longer than a week? I'm tired of being alone all the time. I feel so left out when I go out with my friends, my parents are constantly nagging me about where you are and want me to find another one to take care of me but it's just... I really miss you Levi" Eren whispers softly against his ear and therefore manages to drag Levi back into the harsh reality of his current real life. He tenses up involuntary and breathing suddenly becomes much harder than before.

 

_It's now or never._

 

"Eren, there's something I need to tell you and I'm not sure how you'll react to the news" Levi says quietly. Eren shoots up, alarmed by Levi's soft but dangerous words. His eyes are frantic and Levi hurts seeing his love in such a disturbed state.

He then grabs Eren's hand, to comfort both of them, and takes a deep breath, willing himself to start the dreadful confession. "I know I haven't been honest to you about half of my work. I'm away for weeks at a time and barely have time to call or anything. That's because... in my field of work we need to be very careful about what we say and do even in real life. And I didn't want them to know about you, so they could use you against me" he admits softly, brushing his fingers over Eren's still hand.

He can see the gears in Eren's head twisting (his face has always been an open book when it comes to emotions). First there's the tensity, then comes sorrow and hurt, and finally a mix of defeat, misery and anger. "Ah so it's all true then; working for the government, spying on the great ups and risking your life all the time. Did id ever cross your mind that I had wanted to know about you? You could have been killed and I wouldn't have had a clue" Eren whispers in a broken but harsh voice. "I think I don't even want to know what you've been doing in Ukraine".

 

Levi freezes.

 

_How the fuck does he know about Ukraine?_

 

 _"_ Eren? What's going on? Tell me Eren, how!?" Levi almost screams, his arms having left Eren's hands to grab his shoulders, harshly. "Who told you?" _What did I miss? How could I have been so reckless?_  Eren just smiles a sad smile while still trying to prevent the tears from falling. "Armin found out for me. I'm sorry Levi, but the suspense was killing me. I had to know, for my own sake" he admitted, not caring about the tears anymore. "He h-hacked into your data base on your desktop, no no it wasn't your fault I found out".

Levi stays silent for a while, the truth of how much he had hurt Eren with his lies and absence crushing him from the inside. He didn't care about the sneaky ways Eren went to find out about his secret life, what worries him is what other _unwanted people might have found out._

 

_I never meant to get attached in the first place._

 

 "Look Eren. To cut the story short, I saw things I wasn't meant to see back in Ukraine and now all parties want me dead and off the surface of the earth. I'm a dead man wherever I go and i'll never ever be safe again".

There, he said it. It's finally out in the open.

His hand travels towards his pocket, where the small box has been laying silently, waiting till the right moment. "There is a question I have been wanting to ask you, for quite some time now, I'm sorry the moment isn't as romantic as is should be but we're running out of time". He opens the box and voices the hardest question he has ever had to utter in his entire existence, harder than all of his finished missions combined.

 

"Will you run away with me?"

 

 


End file.
